Least in the Kingdom: Diabetes

~I've been kindly awarded the "Versatile Blogger Award" by Michelle from "The Sword and the Rose". For those of you who haven't visited her blog do go see and get encouragement from her many heartfelt and genuine posts in all things pertaining to godliness and our walk with the Lord! Thanks Michelle for your sweet words about my blog, and for faithfully proclaiming the beautiful truths of a relationship with Christ!

The rules are as follows.
1. Thank the person who gave the award to you.
2. Share seven random things about yourself.
3. Pass it on.

~So here goes scary number two, the seven random things about me that you probably didn't need or want to know! I'll try to just write whatever pops into my mind - without carefully constructing an outcome that might look better than it really is!

1. I hate spiders. They give me shivers and squirming sensations like you wouldn't believe! I know its a common condition of female-kind, but, it came to mind!

2. I've had Type 1 (juvenile) Diabetes since I was eight. There isn't a cure so far, so, I'll probably have it all my life. Its been a struggle, and yet, also a blessing in many ways. Through dealing with it from an early age the Lord has taught me so many things I would never have known without this particular trial in my life. I like to think of it as my refining fire, and the process in which he gives me hinds feet that I may follow Him to the heights!

3. On that note, one of my absolute favorite books is "Hinds Feet in High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. If you haven't read it yet, do get a copy! Its worth it...

4. I was born in Guam.

5. I love writing, to the point that if I don't have an active outlet, like a novel in progress, to work on, I start writing the most ridiculous things wherever I can! (Long comments on things, silly status reports, cluttering up poor friends pages and blogs - you get the idea!) Afterward I usually regret my silly outbursts of inconsequential witticisms, and wish I could take them back because I fear people may think I was hamming off or being cheesy. (Which I was!)

6. I have an unreasonable and exaggerated dislike of using "smiley" faces in my comments etc. Its a personal vendetta I suppose, mainly because I sometimes fear our written word is being "dumbified" by society in general! So I went on a strike where smiley faces are concerned. (Along with abbreviated internet slang) Don't worry that I'm judging you for using them though if you do! I have started to see that there are occasions when because of the nature of internet communication smiley faces are rather essential. So I do use them myself now and then. Anyhow, now you know in case you wondering, its not because I'm not a happy person!

7. When I get "into" something I'm really really into it. Nearly obsessed. Then I'm normal for awhile, and then I'm off to the new thing... I think it was more of a problem when I was younger, my family has too many embarrassing stories to count involving my interests, now I am trying to keep a balance in my activities and thoughts! One of my recent interests involved discovering peoples "personality types" , if you'd like to know what mine is - go here, here, here, and here. See, I told you! (And I don't take all the "personality type" stuff seriously, I do find it useful in relating to people though!)

~And there you have it. Seven completely random mostly silly things about me! Now as for naming some other wonderful bloggers to receive the "Versatile Blog Award"...

1. Victoria from "Justice Pirate" and "Ruby Eyed Okapi". Victoria blogs about everything from vintage inspired modest fashion and home life, to inspiring posts about ending human trafficking and encouraging posts about her walk with the Lord. Be sure to check out her blogs and leave a comment!

2. Sarah from "Country Musings" - who is always busy with homey tales about life, writing stories, updates on upcoming events, participating in modest fashion events, hosting giveaways... Sarah amazes me with her gentle and sweet spirit, I've often been encouraged by her posts!

3. Atlanta from "The Story of a Seamstress". Atlanta is a lady of many many talents, her blog constantly inspires me with everything from her sewing projects, photography skills, recipes, talk about life on a ranch... Her versatility and organized purpose on her blog are really special.

~Thanks again Michelle for tagging and awarding me, its been awhile since I participated in a blogging "game"! So much fun...

...If at any given time an observer were to see my face suddenly contort into a discomfited spasm of pain, for apparently no reason; it would probably be because one of the tender "insertion sites" on my stomach were bumped. Ten years ago as a new diabetic I gave myself shots (or my parents did), six to eight times a day. Then about eight years ago technology made a big advancement and something called an insulin pump was made available to me. So I switched over to the pump, confident of better control and more "freedom". The funny thing is that this freedom meant being hooked up to a small device 24/7.

...The insulin pump is about the size of a small pager, in fact most people think it is one. I remember the time a car sales man thought our family must be technically savvy because I, at ten, was wearing a pager! We explained of course, but it is fun to hear peoples mistakes once in awhile-it keeps me laughing. Now I no longer have shots on a regular basis, but the trade off is that instead I continually have a small 6mm cannula in my stomach. Once every three days I change out the cannula for a new one, and refill my insulin pumps reservoir with insulin. This process doesn't take too long, maybe ten to fifteen minutes if all goes well.

...Because I am "tied" to the insulin pump (literally, by a twenty inch tube) I am able to have more freedom in what I eat and the activities I participate in. Aside from the pump I also wear a "continuous glucose monitoring" device, also a hole in my stomach, and it can hurt. Its needle is a good inch long and very thick, let me tell you, it feels pretty weird in my stomach sometimes. Why do I wear it? Again, for the benefits it gives me and for the greater freedom to live a normal lifestyle.

...The reason I have shared all this with you is to make the following point. Some blessings come disguised in scary, even painful, packages. And sometimes we won't even realize that something is a blessing until God mercifully reveals it to us. How does this affect us in life? Each of us have blessings in disguise, sometimes they are small and other times they are so huge we feel overwhelmed. What matters is how we respond to these blessed trials, being willing to let God work in our lives through pain and suffering. The Lord has promised to "work all things for the good of those who love and know Him".

...Does this mean that every trial, every pain, every suffering in our life is a blessing from God? I think this is a hard saying, especially for those in the moment of grief or those who do not yet understand God's sovereignty. But if we can really accept His will in our life, not only because its His will but because we know His will is best; then we can begin to look at life from a heavenly perspective. Is it important that we understand Gods sovereignty and accept with joy His will in our life? My answer is yes!

...God knows this, He wants our best. It is not unloving or uncaring that He allows His children to suffer that they might better know and trust Him; because that is what is best for us, we were created to glorify and enjoy God-anything that stands in the way of us fulfilling all that God has created us to do must be removed! And if it takes trial for us to lean on Him, if it takes suffering for Him to show His strength, if it takes pain for us to really see Him; then these are blessings which will further us in our walk with Him.

...Every day I have come to thank Him for my diabetes; it is a trial and a burden, but when I look back on the years and see how much closer it has brought me to Him because of it, I cannot wish it to be otherwise. There are days where I just cannot bless God, when I am frustrated and angry. Hurt, and feeling alone. But always my Lord brings me back to Himself because He is faithful. And when I see this faithfulness it makes me love Him more! And when I am through complaining and crying I am able to see once again my need for Him, for a Savior. I can't imagine doing it alone.

...So lets pray for a new vision, that He would be our vision. That we would have His eyes and give thanks for every blessing He sends. Even when its wrapped in the most painful garb we have ever experienced. And when we do fall, when we do despair, He can and will forgive. Let us embrace the cross we are given, the blessings in disguise, with joy; modeling our lives after our Lord; Who for the joy that was set before Him ran the full race, enduring the cross and despising the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of God the Father.

...Well its been a couple days since I last posted on here. Actually I had a small traumatic episode the night before last, which I am still recovering from. Having Diabetes can be pretty scary at times, especially when your blood sugar drops to low. Which is what happened to me. I can usually catch my lows and treat them with juice before they drop too low, but sometimes I have to give myself a glucogon shot. The other night I dropped to about 29, very scary. The norm is between 80 and 130, so this was really low. Praise God though, I did not lose consciousness. (sometimes you can go into a coma) Instead I actually had the presence of mind to come downstairs and get help. After a long night I think I am back on track now, just tired.

...In the whole nine years of having Diabetes I have only passed out one time. What a testament to Gods goodness! Still, when something like this happens it does shake me up a bit. I have to remember to trust God and remember He is in control of all things. And this is where Diabetes is a blessing, it keeps me close to my Savior-trusting Him. It also gives me the opportunity to bless God even when suffering or in pain.

...Here is a Psalm that really helps me to trust. Psalm 61, especially verses 1-2. " Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah For You, O God, have heard my vows; You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name. You will prolong the king’s life, His years as many generations. He shall abide before God forever. Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him! So I will sing praise to Your name forever, That I may daily perform my vows".

...When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to a rock that is higher than I. What a beautiful prayer, its saying we do not have it in ourselves to save. God does, Christ is our rock and strong tower. I also look at this verse in another way, I should stop focusing inward on myself and instead focus up and out. Focus on bringing God glory in every situation and pour myself out in love for others because of His love for me. His ways are higher than mine, I cannot comprehend them. But I know His ways are perfect and He is accomplishing all of His purposes in me.

...These are just a few of the things I have learned through having Diabetes. And I would not give up these precious lessons in faith, trust and hope. And this in itself is a testimony of Gods work in my heart, that I can embrace this trial He has brought with joy-bittersweet though it sometimes may be. It is my prayer that all those suffering with physical ailments/disability's as well as those dealing with loss may see a glorious opportunity to bless God. In this we are privileged to be able to show the world the power of Christ at work in our lives!