Thursday, December 4, 2008

Texas does have it ALL

Well seeing as how I live in the great State of Texas right now, and have for most of my life, I found the following pretty funny. My Dad emailed it to me a little while ago and I thought I would put it up for ya' lls enjoyment. If you don't get the humor you probably haven't lived in Texas. Its a bit long but worth the effort, have fun! (The ones which I found to be extra applicable in my life, I highlighted red)
Texas is well covered...

Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City , Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray , Texas 79086
Sunny Side , Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey , Texas 79261
Trout , Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Klondike, Texas 75448
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462

Atlanta, Texas 75551

Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Ireland, Texas 76538
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
Sudan, Texas 79371

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse , Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031

And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590

Energy, Texas 76452

Cold (Anybody have an idea?)
Blanket, Texas 76432
Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna , Texas
Goliad , Texas
Alamo, Texas
Gun Barrel City , Texas
Robert Lee , Texas

Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670

Men are from Mars, women are from... Venus, Texas 76084

You guessed's on the state line.
Texline , Texas 79087

For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas, to make you smile.....
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas 77853
Old Dime Box, Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079

Our favorites...
Cut n Shoot, Texas
Gun Barrell City , Texas
Hoop And Holler, Texas
Ding Dong, Texas

and, of course,

Muleshoe , Texas

And last but not least, the Anti-Al Gore City

Kilgore , Texas 75662

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas ...

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may
live in Texas

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your
Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas ..

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas:

1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles,

2. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles.

3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas.

4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.
5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. (Hurricane Ike destroyed the pier the Hotel was built on in 2008)

6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston.

7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in
North America.

8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.

9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.

10. The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island.

11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was ' Houston'.

12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island.

13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43' in 24
hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.

14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union )instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.

15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.

16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. ~~~~~~There is no period in Dr Pepper.

18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington -on-the Brazos,
Harrisburg, Galveston, Velasco, West Columbia and Austin

19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is
taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).

20. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.

21. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia
about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg,which splits into four, and they either have four males or four

22. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.

Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie , Texas :
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

1 comment:

Robert L. said...

That was pretty good. I enjoyed it a lot.

Robert L.

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